Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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