the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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