My liver just broke up with me...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
