Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
