I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
