You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
