you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
