You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
