We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
