So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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