He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
