I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
