I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
