it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
