38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
