I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
