hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
