I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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