If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
