you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
