Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
