the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
