yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
