I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
