Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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