Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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