Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
