and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
