doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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