she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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