somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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