Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
