Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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