It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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