whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize