i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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