I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ketchup is God's man juice
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
