He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
