thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
