i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
