I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
