she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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