Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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