the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
