I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
