She said her name was "party"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
