Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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