i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
