Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
