This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I looked at my own cervix.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
we're making bets on your personal life
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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