remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
