How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
