Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
